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****Away Team Debriefing from Lt. Comdr. Tuvok****


Welcome back the the Voyager. I have been receiving your transmissions from all over the quadrant containing encoded "Dumb Blonde Jokes" Captain Janeway is impatiently awaiting the decision as to which one will be most effective in relieving her tension. You are all to be commended for your creativity and ingenuity in researching these obscure pieces of information. I have pooled all the "Dumb Blonde Jokes" here for you to peruse while we await the announcement of the winner. If I understand the concept of the "Dumb Blonde Joke" it is likely it could be awhile before Lynne announces it, she may get lost traversing the distance of her own quarters.

I have compiled these jokes using a random technique.


Q: Why doesn't Captain Janeway allow M & M's on the Voyager?
A: She doesn't want to spend two hours arguing with 7 of 9 over whether
they are really M, E, W or 3.

Q: Why won't Captain Janeway let 7 of 9 pilot the Voyager?
A: Because every time they pass a red star, 7 would stop the ship and wait
for it to turn green.

Q: Why doesn't 7 of 9 follow Captain Janeway's orders?
A: Because everything Captain Janeway says goes in one ear and out the other.

A: 7 of 9 trying to drive the Voyager past a pulsing red star.

Q: If 7 of 9 held a phaser to her head and threatened to commit suicide,
why wouldn't Captain Janeway be concerned?
A: The phaser beam would just go through one ear and out the other.

Q: What do you call 7 of 9 in a swimming pool?
A: An air bubble.

Q: How can Captain Janeway get rid of 7 of 9?
A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool.

Q: If Captain Janeway and 7 of 9 jump off a cliff at the same time, who
would reach the bottom first?
A: The Captain because 7 of 9 would have to stop along the way to ask for

Q: Why can't Tuvok mind meld with 7 of 9?
A: There's nothing there to meld with.

Q: Where does 7 of 9 keep her Personal Logs?
A: In the toilet.


Q: What did The Doctor say before performing brain surgery on 7 of 9?
A: "Space... The Final Frontier..."

Q: How did Harry Kim persuade 7 of 9 to marry him?
A: He told her she was pregnant.

Q: Why is 7 of 9 on a 7-day a week work schedule?
A: So you don't have to retrain her on Monday.

Q: Why isn't 7 of 9's job to run the turbolift?
A: She doesn't know the route.

Q: Why was it difficult for the Doctor to remove 7 of 9's cranial Borg implants?
A: He had to work around the valve stem.


Where does 7 of 9 dream - on a hollow deck.

After joining Voyager, 7 of 9 was given the task of learning
about StarFleet. The next day she reported that she was glad
she was on Voyager and not on the Enterprise-D. When asked why
she proclaimed: "I would be unable to participate in a number of
their activities. They are in 10 Forward and I am only 7 of 9."


If 7 of 9 could replicate herself into 100,000 more blondes and stood
ear to ear...what would you get??

A wormhole back to the alpha quadrant!!


How many blonde Borgs does it take to change an isolinear chip? Two.
One to assimilate the technology and another to pour the romulan ale.


Q: How can you tell 7 of 9 has been on your ship?
A: By all the "white-out" on the computer screens.

Q: What do you do when 7 of 9 throws a fusion grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: How many 7 of 9's does it take to change a power source?
A1: "What's a power source?"
A2: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Tuuvaakk!"

Q: Why did 7 of 9 have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why didn't 7 of 9 want a window seat on the shuttlecraft?
A: She'd just set her hair.

Q: What's a 7 of 9's favorite wine?
A1: "You will be assimilated!"
A2: "I broke another calcium growth (finger nail), darn!"

Q: What is the difference between 7 of 9 and a shuttlecraft?
A: Not everyone has been in a shuttlecraft.

Q: If 7 of 9 and Cpt. Janeway are tossed off a shuttle, who hits the ground
A1: Janeway. 7 of 9 has to stop to ask for directions.
A2: Janeway. 7 of 9 is such an air head.

Q: What is the difference between 7 of 9 and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: What did 7 of 9 say when Tuvak blew in her ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: Why did 7 of 9 fail her flight test?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!

Q: What do you call 7 of 9 standing between Tuvak and Janeway (two
A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call a dozen 7 of 9's standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What do you call dozen 7 of 9's sitting in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What do you call a dozen 7 of 9's in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside 7 of 9's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What do you see when you look into 7 of 9's eyes?
A: The back of her head.


1. Q:Why does 7of9 wear her hair up??
A:To catch everything that goes over her head
2. Q:How do you make 7of9's eyes light up??
A:Shine a flashlight in her ear
3. Q:How do you change 7of9's mind??
A:Blow in her ear
4. Q:What does 7of9 and a beer bottle have in common??
A:They're both empty from the neck up
5. Q:Why did God create 7of9??
A:Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge


Voyager came under attack by the "Kazon" and there was trouble
maintaining power and Voyager and her crew were near destruction. It was
an emergency situattion. What did 7 of 9 keep yelling ?

"What's the collective number of 911 ?"

After attack the Kazon-Nistrim boarded Voyager.

Captain Janeway, Lieutenant Torres and 7 of 9 decided to hide in the Cargo Bay Storage Bins.

Culluh, leader of the Nistrim, ordered his First Officer to check the ship for survivors.

The First Officer proceeded to follow orders and his search lead him to the Cargo Bay. He came upon the three storage bins and reported to Culluh.

Culluh told his First Officer to find out what was in them and report back.

The Officer kicked the first bin, which Janeway was in. She went,"Meeeooo", so the First Officer reported to Culluh there was a Tribble in it.

Then he kicked the second bin, which Torres was in. She went, "Ruff Ra Ruff", so the First Officer reported there was a Humanoid Dog in it.

Then he kicked the third bin, which 7 of 9 was in, and there was no sound at all. So the First Officer kicked it again and finally 7 of 9 said, "Latinum".

What do you see when you looke deep into 7 of 9's eyes ?

The back of her head !

During some down time on the Star Ship Voyager, a group of the crew were playing "Vintage Star Trek Enterprise Trivial Pursuit."

7 of 9 joined in and it was her turn and she rolled the dice and landed on "Science and Space." Her question : "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it ?.

7 of 9 thought for a time and then asked, "is it on or off ?'

7 of 9 activated the emergency medical holographic program. A male holographic doctor appears. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency," the doctor says. "You have to help me, I hurt all over," 7 of 9 said. "all over? Could you be a little more specific," said the
doctor. 7 of 9 touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts!" Then she touched her right cheek and again yelled, That hurts too!" Then she touched her right earlobe. "Even that hurts!" 7 of 9 cried. The Holographic doctor looked at her thoughtfully for
a moment and asked, Are you a natural blonde?" "Why, yes," 7 of 9 replied. "I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a broken finger."

During an encounter with the BORG, Captain Janeway beamed a team onto  the BORG Ship to capture a Borg to study their Collective Process. This was accomplished by capturing a Female Blonde Borg named 7 of 9. The first step was to sever 7 of 9 from her BORG regenerative process. Tuvok and the Holographic doctor were able to deactivate her link to the BORG .
7 of 9 started grabbing at the air.  Tuvok questioned her why she was incomprehensibly grabbing at the air ? 7 of 9 answered, "she was trying to collect her thoughts."


How long would it take 7 of 9 to change a light bulb?
Forever, even without power the light bulb is brighter!

Why did 7 of 9 stop in the middle of the road while crossing?
She forgot which way she was going.


The crew of the starship Voyager finially return back home to Earth.
Captain Janeway grants everyone 6 months of shore leave. 7 of 9 decides
that this would be a great opportunity to see some the sites on Earth. She
decides that she would first like to see the Grand Canyon.

She sees a Starfleet security officer and says, "Excuse me, officer, how do
I get to the Grand Canyon?" The Starfleet officer says, "Wait here at this
shuttle bay for the number 54 shuttlecraft. It'll take you right there."

7 of 9 thanks the officer and he walks off.

Three hours later the Starfleet officer comes back to the same area, and,
sure enough, 7 of 9 is still waiting at the same shuttle bay.

The Starfleet officer says, "Excuse me, but to get to the Grand Canyon, I
said to wait here for the number 54 shuttlecraft. That was three hours
ago. Why are you still waiting?"

7 of 9 replies, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th
shuttlecraft just took off!"


Q: What did 7 of 9 say when she looked into the box of replicated Cheerios?
A: WOW assimalted donut seeds.

Q: Why doesn't 7 0f 9 eat pickles?
A: Because she can't fit her head into the replicator machine.


What's vast, shares a single brain and if one screws Harry Kim, they all do?

The Blond Collective!

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